Wind Wolf Woman
by
Mahinto
Excerpts from Chapters
Chapter 1 - Sunbeam's Arrival

Around midnight in late September 1935, darkness cloaked a Montana reservation as Cheering Woman, a Dakota Sioux medicine woman, awakened in confident anticipation, knowing that her son’s firstborn was a girl. She dressed her tall, statuesque body warmly, then quickly brushed and braided her long salt-and-pepper hair, twisting and winding it into a crown on top of her head to frame her proud, finely chiseled features. Although in her late seventies, she still retained her youthful agility and glowed with the spirit of life.

Cheering Woman got into her old truck and drove to her son’s home. When she arrived, she found Sam slumped over the kitchen table with a half-empty bottle of whiskey in one hand, while from the bedroom she heard the cries of a healthy newborn. Cheering Woman’s penetrating black eyes took in her son’s abject misery with a single glance. It was obvious that his manly pride had been wounded by the birth of a girl child. Sam, unable to ignore her any longer, looked up and said in a quiet monotone, “It’s a girl. Found her on the front porch in a basket.”

He handed his mother an envelope, adding, “This was pinned to her blanket. It’s addressed to you.” Cheering Woman quietly read its contents, then placed it into a leather pouch that hung from her waist.

She touched Sam’s hand comfortingly and said, “Be happy my son, Wakan Tanka has given you a healthy child. It hurts me to see you deny your own flesh.” Head bowed, he offered no response, yet his silence spoke loudly.

Cheering Woman studied him for a moment. As a child, he had been sensitive and gentle, but there had always been a wild streak hidden deep within him that could never be completely contained. The tall, muscular man now sitting before her still retained that intense, animalistic wildness. Many would call him handsome with his cool gray eyes and shiny black hair worn in waist-length braids. Yes, she thought, this son of mine can be very charming when he has a mind to please, but he is fiery tempered, unruly and sullen when he doesn’t get his way.

“Sam, I have many fond memories of you and Anna, this child’s mother, whom I love like my own. You have known each other since you were babies learning to walk and run together. How I loved watching the two of you explore life. It was Anna who brought this excitement to you. I remember how happy you were when you’d both run through the open fields in summer looking for abandoned baby animals to raise. By the time you were eleven anyone could see you were meant for each other.

“You were barely seventeen when I warned you not to have sex before marriage. I remember telling you then that your first child would be a girl, born to a mission. When Anna got pregnant and you two sneaked off for an abortion, she almost died, so I promised that if she kept the baby, I would raise it. I know it broke your heart when her family moved away. I also know you will always love Anna, and she will always love you. But now you are married to another. It’s time to stop feeling sorry for yourself and accept this baby’s existence. As Wolf Clan, I promised to raise this special born child in the old medicine way. I will guide her toward her birth purpose and awaken her powers before she reaches womanhood. Sam, proof of the undying love between you and Anna lives on in this baby girl.”

Sam’s eyes stung with unshed tears as he recalled his beloved Anna. He silently acknowledged his mother’s words, but offered no response.

Impatient to see her granddaughter, Cheering Woman took Sam’s arm and steered him to the makeshift crib. Leaning over the newborn, she picked it up with gentle hands, saying a silent prayer as she lay claim to her granddaughter’s soul.

Cheering Woman walked to the window, moved the torn shade aside and let the morning sun gently touch her granddaughter’s radiant skin.

“She is as beautiful as first light, just before daybreak. What are we going to name her?”

“Does it matter? It’s just a girl.”

Showing her annoyance at his pigheaded ways, Cheering Woman snapped, “Stop it! You know we must call her something!”

Sam’s wife, Hazel, overheard Cheering Woman and entered the bedroom. Sam looked at Hazel, then muttered, “Me and Hazel haven’t talked about a name. I thought maybe you would like to name her.”

Intimidated by Cheering Woman’s presence, Hazel stammered, “I thought since her mother was half white, maybe we should give her a white name.”

Cheering Woman bristled. “My son, speak to your woman! This is none of her business. This child is your Indian daughter who shares in your birthright. So what if she’s a mixed blood! She’s not white! Besides, since neither you nor Anna wanted this child, and since I’m responsible for raising her, I will name her!”

Seeing that her harsh words were causing defiance in her son, she redirected her conversation to the baby.

“You’re going to need a powerful name. Since you rode the moon’s rays into life, and Father Sun touched your body this morning, you should carry a name that reflects those powers.” Staring coldly at Hazel and Sam, she continued, “Because of your attitudes toward a mixed-breed female, she is already suffering from prejudice and rejection. Humor this old woman. I will take the child with me and teach her to walk in both worlds without suffering. In my time I have seen many changes take place between the Indian and the white man. I will train her to walk to serve both cultures in the medicine way.”

“Hazel,” said Sam, in a superior tone, “Mother is right! This is my child, so I’ll name her.” Leaning close, he pulled the blanket aside, gazed at the baby’s little face, then softly touched her tiny chin with the back of his hand. “You may be a girl, but I’ll make you a boy. I’ll call you Sonny. Yep, that’s what I’ll call you, Sonny!”

Used to his stubborn, mulish ways, Cheering Woman smiled sweetly and then, exercising her refined ability to manipulate him, answered, “Hmm, that’s good, son. I think Ezonzon Wi Cha Nah He, Sunlit Soul, is strong and keeps with our tradition.” Looking down at the infant, she continued, “Yes, Grandchild, that is your name, but we will call you ‘Sunny’ to please your father and ‘Sunbeam’ to please Father Sun. May you become as bright as the dawn of a new day, and make your presence upon Mother Earth shine with the strength of your Father, the Sun.”

Sam’s expression remained stoic, but inside he swelled with admiration and pride at the strong name his daughter had been given.

“Sam, my son, I give you your daughter, Sunbeam,” announced Cheering Woman as she placed the baby in his arms.

Sam stiffened with resentment as he stared into the tiny face. The baby gazed back, challenging him with unflinching gray-green eyes reminiscent of deep pools filled with hidden crystals. Acknowledging his daughter at last, he smiled and accepted the inevitable. His mother, after all, had chosen the child’s direction in life before she’d been born.

Cheering Woman knew she had won another battle with her son, and leaned close to him, whispering, “This child is strong, like you. And that is good. I assure you she will walk with the old knowledge and think like an Indian.”

Cheering Woman gathered up her new granddaughter and returned home, where she immediately prepared a sweat. Thus began Sunbeam’s training in medicine.

Throughout early childhood, Sunbeam was isolated from outside influences, and by the age of seven she was well-steeped in the old ways. She was a small-framed child with long, dark hair that flowed down her back. At times her penetrating, expressive eyes held an extraordinary gaze. At others times, hidden behind wispy, disheveled bangs, they flashed with devilish mischief.

Strangers were often amazed at her spirited, animal-like independence. Some thought her a bit too arrogant, particularly those who saw her as another illegitimate half-breed. Others suspected that despite her mixed blood, Sunbeam could hear more than what was spoken. Cheering Woman, who knew her best, saw her granddaughter as a mild-mannered, shy little Indian girl who felt awkward in the presence of others and preferred to spend time alone in the serenity of the apple orchard behind the arbor.

One day when all the chores were completed, Cheering Woman called seven-year-old Sunbeam aside. “Grandchild, for years I’ve been training you to find lost objects. It’s now time to honor the spiritual warrioress that sleeps within your soul.”

Sunbeam frowned. She hated this game her grandmother called hide-and-seek. But knowing her determination, she gave in quietly, expressing her aggravation with a deep sigh.

“You stop that! No more fighting with me over this game! You’re going to work harder at it. A lonely object has been waiting for almost three days to be found. If you fail today, you will see a night without supper. Now once again, close your eyes, still your mind, and feel the object’s presence. Where is it? What is its color? What is its shape?”

After an hour of concentrated effort and more badgering from Cheering Woman, Sunbeam still had no answers.

Cheering Woman, frustrated by her granddaughter’s lack of interest, scolded, “Your head is more than a hat rack. Anybody can do this! It’s your lazy, scattered mind that gets in the way. But don’t worry, Granddaughter, I know exactly how to fix the problem. I’m sure that if you go to bed on an empty stomach and get a good night’s sleep you’ll concentrate better tomorrow. By daybreak you will surely have the answer.”

Sunbeam, knowing there was no hope of changing her grandmother’s mind, moped around the house until early evening.

“Time for bed,” announced Cheering Woman, in a spirited mood.

Sunbeam sulked off to the feather bed they shared, dramatically clutching her growling stomach, knowing that if she didn’t have the answer by the following morning, her Grandmother would add another day without food to her training. As she climbed in, she recalled the words she had heard many times before: “Granddaughter, fasting is good for the soul. It makes you pay attention.”

Sunbeam tossed and turned, listening to the old people who had gathered on the front porch to eat and gossip about the day’s events, before finally falling asleep.

It was still dark when Sunbeam awakened. Her dreams had told her what the lonely object was! Climbing out of bed quietly, so as not to awaken her grandmother, she went to the hook where her grandmother’s traveling pouch always hung. She took it down and pulled out a river stone they had found on their last outing. There it was, smooth and white, just as she had seen in her dreams. A broad smile crossed her face as she placed the stone beside her grandmother’s pillow. Her work done, she climbed back into bed and fell asleep.

“Get out of bed, Granddaughter,” Cheering Woman threw back the covers and tugged playfully at Sunbeam’s exposed foot. She waved the stone in front of Sunbeam’s face in a congratulatory manner. “I see you have finally found the lost object. Hurry, Grandchild!” scolded Cheering Woman playfully. “Your breakfast is getting cold.”

Sunbeam sighed with relief and gave silent thanks to Wakan Tanka for helping her find the hidden object. She leapt up and confidently followed her grandmother to the sweet smells of the kitchen. Soon she was wolfing down her fry bread and scrambled eggs while Cheering Woman sipped her coffee smiling with pride.

Cheering Woman knew she had finally attracted her granddaughter’s full attention. “It takes patience to learn concentration. You must focus and have a clear thought in mind. When I am no longer on this earth, you will be glad you listened to me, just as I am thankful that I listened to my grandmother.”

After many more months of exposure to Cheering Woman’s diligent efforts, Sunbeam became exceptionally good at hide-and-seek and came to love the game. Not only was she refining her ability to find lost articles, but she was also learning how to find missing people.

Cheering Woman had finally decided that the best way to teach her granddaughter was through suspense and mystery—methods that seemed to keep the child’s mind stimulated. “Grandchild, always be aware of what is around you,” she would say. “Use your imagination to explore the mysteries that are hidden from you. Search inside for answers to your questions. Learn to recognize the difference between what you see and what you think you see.”

As time went on Cheering Woman noticed a quiet defiance and an air of arrogance taking root in Sunbeam which was intolerable in the Sioux culture. To stop its growth, she used a firm hand, tempered with love; but controls of this sort only sparked outward rebellion.

Determined to cure this terrible disease that had infected her granddaughter’s mind, the old medicine woman began to discipline her with fear, guilt and bribery, sometimes forcing her out of bed long before sunrise and engaging her in a lesson that lasted until long after dark.

The battle of wills continued for weeks until early one morning when Cheering Woman threw off Sunbeam’s covers, yelling, “Get out of that bed! You’re going to smell like an old bear! How can Father Sun spread his light and warmth across the earth if you don’t get up to greet him? Hurry, Grandchild!” Cheering Woman glared in mock disgust before leaving the room.

Struggling to wake up, Sunbeam made her way to the kitchen and picked at her breakfast. Cheering Woman quietly sipped her coffee while waiting for her granddaughter’s eyes to fully open.

“Sku'ya, Sweet, last night you were crying out in your sleep. Tell me about this visit to Shadow World.”

Shivering in fear, Sunbeam struggled to recall her frightening dream. “I was somewhere terrible. I went to the Valley of Death, and it was dark and cold. Crying spirits with ugly faces were hanging from gnarled, dead trees. They reached out and tried to touch me.”

“Uh-huh,” acknowledged Cheering Woman as she nodded her head, her eyes half-closed.

Sunbeam waited in silence for what seemed like an eternity.

When she had nearly lost her patience, Cheering Woman said:

“Your vision seems to hold many fears. The spirits hanging from dead trees were earth-bound souls begging you to release them to the Other Side. When their pained faces scared you, it meant that those lost souls trusted you to take them to the light. They moaned and screamed because you were ignoring their needs. Those poor souls live in a twilight time, and it is you who must help them gain their spiritual freedom.”

Sunbeam shuddered at the thought of helping ghosts, but she knew if she did not do as her grandmother instructed, those horrible faces would haunt her forever.

“A visit to Shadow World is considered a rare gift to be treated with great respect. Accidental visits to all sorts of places happen in the dream state if you do not focus on where you are going. You are responsible for this newfound knowledge. I have taught you to go to the Other Side and listen to your inner voice, but last night you acted out of fear, creating confusion. Tonight you must return and complete your mission. That is the only way to free yourself from the haunting faces of those lost souls.

“Granddaughter, you know that everything has a meaning, and your responsibility is to find that meaning. You also know you must accept the unknown when you visit Shadow World. I’ve told you that whatever you fear will materialize before you. Why place judgment and limitations on your thinking? Everything simply is.

“To find out the time of day, you must read shadows cast by the sun. To understand the nighttime, watch the light of the moon and the position of the stars in the heavens. Remember how we watched the birds, the animals, and the growing plants to learn the power of the seasons? Once you understand the signs of nature, you will be able to glimpse the reality behind the unknown and the unspoken. That is why I taught you to go to Shadow World.”

Tired and still sleepy, Sunbeam could barely pay attention.

Cheering Woman, having surrendered her patience, rose from her chair. “My word, Granddaughter, do you think this is all I have to do in life? Many apprentices want to learn what I have to teach! You need me, Granddaughter. I don’t need you! I will never play nursemaid to a slow, dull mind!”

Without warning, Cheering Woman slammed her fist on the table, knocking the dishes to the floor. “As Medicine, I demand your undivided attention! You will bring your mind into focus.” She sat back down and glared intently at her granddaughter.

Sunbeam was shocked. Never before had she seen her grandmother’s wrath or been the target of such temper. Not knowing how to respond to this terrible outburst, she kept her eyes glued to the floor and whimpered an apology for having taken advantage of her grandmother.

“Well, I like sharing with people who understand the importance of my teachings, and if you need cruelty to learn, then so be it. I have made a vow and I will fulfill it! I want you to know how to read the unwritten and hear the unspoken, whether it comes from the past, present, or future. Humph! Right now your unspoken fears are talking so loudly I might lose my hearing.”

Sunbeam picked up the broken dishes and began to cry.

“Oh Grandmother, I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad at me. I promise I’ll listen.”

“Go to the Grandmother Lodge and do not return until you have released those captured souls from the Valley of Death.”

Still shaken, Sunbeam rushed out the back door and ran all the way to the Grandmother Lodge. It was around noon when she returned and smiled when she spotted her grandmother in the garden.

Cheering Woman looked up and said, “I see you have done well. I’m proud that you released those poor souls so they can go back home to Tunka'shila. Come, let’s spend the rest of the day in the woods. We have medicines to gather and berries to pick.”

Chapter 2
Quest of a Spiritual Warrioress

Sunbeam sat under the tallest apple tree in the orchard, her thoughts drifting toward Cheering Woman, who as always was sitting beneath the pine arbor teaching yet another group of students. For years Sunbeam had resented not only her city cousins, but people from all walks of life who returned to the reservation to learn the old traditional ways. She thought it strange that they were thrilled to be living in tents under the starry skies, cooking over open fires and bathing in cold river water. Most of the time she hated Cheering woman’s apprentice, Shung', and her bossy ways, but was glad it was her job to take care of these intruders.

For as long as she could remember, Sunbeam had watched people come and go, slipping back and forth between the Red and white cultures. Just the thought seemed to leave a bittersweet taste in her mouth.

The first thing every morning, they would clamor out of their tents to fill the Inipis, sweat lodges. There they would pray awkwardly, searching for their roots. Seeing them hunger for this knowledge made Sunbeam realize that even at the tender age of ten, she was indeed an old spirit and wise for her years. At these times, she was thankful her grandmother had given up so much to prod, shape and mold her spiritual walk. I need to remember, she thought, to lift my hands in prayer up to Wakan Tanka for my grandmother’s rigid training.

Although many people considered Cheering Woman a saint, others thought her a demon from hell. She was amused by their contrasting perceptions and aware that all respected her. Sunbeam took great comfort in knowing her grandmother walked her talk and held a place of honor among all the people. She was proud to be the granddaughter of such a powerful medicine woman.

Propelled by her thoughts, Sunbeam got up and headed for the arbor. As she drew near, she heard her grandmother’s familiar words. “Creation is ongoing, and Wakan Tanka lives in everything. Everyone is born to serve and honor Tunka'shila’s work. This is how we please the Great Spirit. And in serving the Great Mystery, we serve ourselves, for it is Creator who teaches us to live properly. This is what leads us to our spiritual happiness.”

Cheering Woman spotted her granddaughter, stood up and stepped aside, leaving Shung' to complete the lesson.

“Hurry, Sunbeam, come,” Cheering Woman said eagerly. “There is much work to be done before my cherished friend Madame Bianchoff arrives. Do you want your soul to die of boredom, young lady? Remember, idle hands make for a lazy mind and a grumpy soul. There’s wood to chop, fires to build, medicines to prepare, sage to gather and water to haul for the Yuwipi ceremony tonight.”

The lesson finished, Shung' approached them, whereupon Cheering Woman handed her a shopping list, saying, “Shung', hurry along to the store and take someone with you to help. I’ll need you back here as soon as possible to take over my teaching duties. Madame Bianchoff should be here by early afternoon and I want to be free to spend some time with my dear friend. It’s been a while since I’ve seen her and I want her visit to be special.”

As Shung' turned to go, Cheering Woman flashed back ten years to the day when her half sister had come to live with her and help care for the infant Sunbeam. She remembered Shung' as a timid, overweight little girl who was hoping to someday become a medicine woman. Now at twenty, she was a strong, well-spoken young woman, and Cheering Woman was proud to call her an apprentice to Medicine.

Meanwhile Madame Bianchoff, a Russian ballet instructor, was driving across the western plains about four hours away from Cheering Woman’s home. A smile crossed her face as she remembered when they had first met in Los Angeles during a fund-raising event to gather food and clothing for the poor on the reservation. How many boxes had she packed since then to send to that determined Indian woman who was one of her best friends? What an effort it had been to convince Cheering Woman to take a drive to see the ocean for the first time. Laughing out loud, she recalled how her friend had compared the ocean waves with the rolling wheat fields at home.

As she turned onto a one-lane road, she became immediately intoxicated, for the view was exactly as she remembered when youth had belonged to them. Father Sky still appeared to be touching the edges of Mother Earth’s body and the wheat fields still rolled like ocean waves. Madame was anxious to share these rapturous thoughts with her old friend.

Sunbeam, having finished her morning chores, was bathing in the river. Cheering Woman stood on the riverbank shouting, “A dip in Father River awakens the mind and stimulates the soul. Now, get out of the water. It’s important for you to spend time with Otis. He’s been with me for many years, and is the best of Fire Chiefs. I want you to learn from him the sacredness in tending a fire.”

Sunbeam emerged from the water, and after dressing, followed her grandmother to where Otis Lightday was building a new Inipi. As they approached the tall, thin elder, he acknowledged their presence with a nod.

Sunbeam remained at a respectful distance, drying her hair in the sun as the two conversed privately. Cheering Woman said quietly, “Have patience with her, my old friend. You know she is special born. I want her to find the heartbeat of everything. Please see that she makes peace with the fire people.” With these words, she departed.

Otis motioned for Sunbeam to join him. She watched quietly as he drove a stake into the ground to establish the center of the fire lodge. Stepping back two feet, he drew a circle as a guide for building the rock cradle that would hold the Stone People. Moving out ten more feet, he made another circle to establish the outer wall of the Inipi. Once everything was in place, Sunbeam handed him the freshly cut willow branches which he shaped into an intricate perfectly round domed structure that would join the above and below powers as one.

Sunbeam helped him cover the frame with blankets and buffalo hides. Once finished, he lit a cigarette and stood back to admire a job well done. Clearing his throat, he spoke to Sunbeam in his limited English:

“To live a good life, you must have faith and build power in your beliefs. This comes when we keep good thoughts about others. Sku'ya, everything is related and you must respect all life forces if you are to become a part of the Great Mystery. When you give respect to everything as if it were a relative, you then can understand the power of Tunka'shila, Grandfather, the oldest of ancient knowledge.

“We see the trees to be a nation of people. Because these standing ones are alive, we cut them in a certain way. It is said they are Lela Wakan, very sacred, and that long ago the people would hear their whispering voices in prayer songs. When their wood is stacked in a reverent manner, we make a happy fire.”

Moving about fifteen feet from the West Door of the new Inipi, Otis started to build the Old Man Four Generations fire pit. “We do these things, Sku'ya, because our forefathers taught us to take great care and offer respect while touching another’s life. In doing so, we honor the ways of our ancestors.”

As his old, wrinkled brown hands worked the small earthen mound that was to become the molehill, Otis spoke of how proper preparation and good prayers must come from a good heart. Sunbeam knelt beside him, watching him shape and mold the four horns of Old Man Four Generations. “These represent the past four generations of our people and the four generations to come. If we shape the horns in a good way, surely Wakan Tanka will hear our prayers and help all the children’s children who are yet to come. Old Man Four Generations holds the sacred fire to heat the stones.”

At this point, he set four short pieces of wood into a square foundation over the face of Old Man Four Generations. Handing him more wood, Sunbeam watched him stack the pieces west to east, then north to south, until they were four high. On top, Otis carefully placed the stones he had selected for the upcoming sweat. Using several longer pieces of wood, he arranged them in a tipi formation around the structure, saying, “Remember, everything is Lela Wakan,” as he stretched his arms wide to emphasize his point. “A good Fire Chief must do everything with a pure heart. A sacred fire will help the people speak the truth of their needs.

“We are the keepers of the fire, and must depend on the old ways if we are to carry the little fire of the sun that exists in each stone. In our sweats we join with the sacred little fire and connect with the forever fire of Creator. If we do our ceremonies from a loving heart, the fire people will give us their blessings.” Otis placed tinder amid bits of kindling in the little opening to create a perfect flame.

“Sunbeam,” he continued, “a happy fire needs to breathe plenty of good air before it can speak to us. Sadly, there are many who have never heard the sweet voice of a flame. When ignorance builds a fire, it becomes angry and gives off lots of smoke, sometimes breaking the stones. I have seen some fires so angry that they heave hot coals at people. A fire with order won’t have a quarrelsome nature. It will burn in a peaceful manner, heating the stones to heal the people.

“It is the spirit of the fiery-tempered salamander that calls the fire to help us. These little people are very impatient with humans and will not speak to us unless we come right. A match cannot strike, and a flint cannot make sparks without Salamander’s help."

Otis lit the tinder, providing just enough friction to send forth a soft, gentle flame. “Sku'ya,” he said with great seriousness, “when you touch the life of fire, never anger its spirit or it will surely cause trouble in the Inipi.”

Otis and Sunbeam watched the flames build their power, all the while looking for the little people in the fire. Within moments, Sunbeam excitedly pointed at the many tiny people that she could see dancing and slithering among the hot coals. Otis lifted the corner of his mouth in a knowing smile.

When the last of the stones had fallen into the glowing embers, Otis said, “Go tell Medicine the Stone People are almost ready. I hear you’ll be sweating with the elders today. That is a very special gift.”

Stunned, Sunbeam ran off to deliver the message to her grandmother. Upon reaching the arbor, she found Cheering Woman telling an old Indian story:

“The Stone People are our earliest record keepers…Long ago, in the time of the longhairs, the earth was dotted with boulders that had been painted red by the ancient ones. Knowing of the boulders’ special powers, they hid pieces of their hair around these stones as offerings. Others offered wildflowers or small pebbles at their bases to invite the Great Spirit to speak directly to them. Even children would place small prayer stones in the lower forks of nearby trees so the spirit helpers would also speak with them.

“As you enter the Inipi, think of all these things. Let the sweat heal your body, mind and soul. Let the Stone People guide your breath as you humble yourself before Wakan Tanka. Pray from your heart and speak freely about your problems. When the sacred waters touch the stones to become Tunka'shila’s breath, release your fears and let your breath join with these life-givers to inspire your growth. Ask the Great Spirit to help you during your upcoming Hanblecheyapi. After all, it is Wakan Tanka who will fulfill all your needs.”

Cheering Woman dismissed the group and acknowledged Sunbeam’s arrival with a nod. She noticed the worried look on her face and approached her, asking, “Granddaughter, what’s wrong?”

“Otis told me that I might be sweating with the elders today. That scares me because they have such long, hot sweats.”

“Why, Granddaughter, there’s no reason to fret. Maybe they won’t have that much to pray for today.” Cheering Woman chuckled as she put her arm around Sunbeam, and together they walked to the new Inipi.

Chapter 3
Sunbeam Leaves the Reservation

Sunbeam was overcome by waves of terror when Otis and Shung' dropped her off at the bus station to go live with Auntie Rose in the rural area of Red Bank, Tennessee. This small, forlorn figure sat alone on an old wooden bench, feeling extremely downhearted over being forced to leave the reservation. When the bus roared to a stop, raising a cloud of dust in its wake, her hands began fidgeting with her Rope of Hope that was tied around her grandmother’s old suitcase.

The driver opened the door and called out, “All aboard.”

Sunbeam boarded the bus and shyly handed him her ticket. She found a seat and tucked her suitcase under it as the bus pulled away from the station. She sat tightly pressed against the window staring out at the place she had always called home, knowing that she would surely miss the reservation way of life.

Sadness gripped her heart as the bus passed the reservation border and turned onto the open road. How would she ever survive in this strange new place without her grandmother’s support and protection? The reservation represented all she knew, loved and respected. Without this connection, how would she exist in her new environment?

She thought about spring and felt a desperate loneliness. She would miss seeing the young, budding trees and the beautiful yellow sunflowers dancing tirelessly across the plains. All the seasons would come and go without her presence.

And what about living near Sam? As these thoughts surfaced, Sunbeam’s sorrow turned to fear. Tears welled up in her eyes and she immediately prayed to Wakan Tanka to guide her through the frightening transition into the white world.

On the second day of her trip Sunbeam awakened to find the landscape had changed dramatically from rolling hills of swaying grass into fields of barley and hay. She knew nothing about this new world and marveled at its vastness. As the sun went over down and darkness cloaked the sky, Sunbeam curled up in her seat and closed her eyes. The drone of the tires racing over the pavement soothed her enough so that she could finally drift off to sleep.

As the huge bus jolted to a stop, Sunbeam awakened to see the bright sun shining over a small Midwestern town. This was the third day of traveling and the food that Shung' had packed was gone. She got off the bus to wash up and use the restroom. On her return her eyes glanced longingly at the snack bar.

The bus driver knew that look and understood the plight of reservation people. He bought a soda and a couple of sandwiches then quietly handed them to Sunbeam as she boarded the bus. She thanked him and returned to her seat, feeling grateful that someone cared enough to feed her. She ate sparingly as she stared out the window marveling at the tall buildings and the ever-increasing patches of concrete spreading before them.

When the driver informed her she would be getting off at the next stop, she was grateful that the trip was over. As she clutched her bag tightly to her side she was herded through a noisy corridor and onto a busy sidewalk. The heat and humidity blasted her face and the heavy air was hard to breathe. Sunbeam pressed her body tightly against the building trying to understand the noisy traffic and sea of angry white faces who spoke with a funny accent.

When she saw Sam’s truck pull up to the curb, she felt immense relief and ran toward him. She threw her bag into the back of the truck and climbed in beside him.

“Hey, Sunny. I know I’m fucking late, but this goddamn morning traffic is heavy.”

She watched in amusement as Sam cut in and out of traffic like a madman, cursing every driver on the street. Sunny was fascinated by the tall buildings. She leaned out the window and peered upward for a better view until she grew dizzy at their towering height. She was glad when they left the city behind for the green countryside. As the city gave way to country, she was amazed at the many houses surrounded by well-manicured yards and white picket fences.

“How come they got so many fences?” Sunny asked timidly.

“Hell, who cares. The fences mean keep out. White people think they own the land.”

“The reservation never had fences.”

As they ventured further into the countryside, well-groomed cornfields dotted the landscape as far as she could see. This graceful panorama revealed a different kind of beauty from any Sunbeam had ever known. Everything seemed to be placed exactly where it belonged. Sunny marveled at the beauty of it all, but wondered how she would ever fit into or find her place in such a controlled environment.

Sam shifted gears then turned onto a dirt road, the tires kicking up a trail of dust behind them as they sped along.

“Your Auntie Rose lives over there” said Sam. He thrust his chin toward a hillside that held a beautiful, white two-story house overlooking the valley. As they drove down the long driveway, Sunbeam was excited and curious about her new home. Covering the landscape was a sea of green grass dotted with huge shade trees. The large front yard was neatly manicured and surrounded by many colorful flowers. This was the most beautiful place she had ever seen and she quickly offered a silent prayer of thanks to Creator for her new home.

Her grandmother had often mentioned that Auntie Rose was a nurse and had been married to a doctor, but since his death she lived alone. She would have liked to have known more about Auntie Rose, but never asked since it was disrespectful to speak about such things.

Sam pulled into the back, alongside a red barn. As they got out of the truck Sunny saw Auntie Rose walking toward them with her arms out, smiling. She was happy to see her friendly face, but when Auntie hugged her, she felt awkward returning the embrace.

“I’m glad you’re here. I’ve been waiting for you,” said Auntie Rose, guiding them toward the house.

They entered a beautiful, tidy white kitchen with many colorful potted plants filling the windows. Auntie Rose poured Sam a cup of coffee and offered them freshly made doughnuts as she asked Sunny about Cheering Woman’s funeral.

She answered each question carefully, remembering her grandmother did not approve of idle gossip.

“It will be nice to have someone living with me,” said Auntie Rose. “Come, let me show you to your room.”
Sam squirmed uncomfortably in his chair, then said, “Sunny will be staying with us for a little while, Sister. Hazel needs her help.”

Auntie Rose was noncommittal and did not argue with Sam. Sunny was very disappointed and felt deeply hurt but she did not dispute their decision. As they said their goodbyes, Sam promised to let Sunny come and visit, then the two of them drove to Sam’s house in silence.

Sunny was shocked when they pulled into a dirt yard and got out of the truck. Her heart sank as she saw a forlorn tarpaper shack surrounded by a graveyard of rusty old trucks, car engines and broken-down farm equipment. The makeshift barn, barely standing, was covered with freshly killed animal skins drying in the sun. Blowflies swarmed over the hides, picking at the unsalted edges as the stench of rotting flesh filled the air.

Several shabbily dressed children ranging in age from six to eight came from the barn accompanied by barking dogs that ran out from under the house. Sam set her suitcase on the ground and without a word got back into the truck and headed down the road disappearing into a cloud of raw brown dust.

Sunny stood there, mute and motionless, wondering what to do next. She picked up her suitcase and headed toward the house followed by four boys and growling dogs.

Hazel stood in the doorway with a fretting baby on her hip. She looked old and tired and Sunny was amazed to see that she was pregnant again. Hazel struggled to get the half-hinged screen door open and with a rather toothless smile said, “This one cries a lot. Think he’s teething,” as she wiped the infant’s runny nose on her dress.

Sunny remained silent as she stepped inside.

“Don’t have much to offer, but we share what we got. Come, I’ll show you where to put your things.”

Hazel shuffled toward the back room with the children following close behind. The room was small and dingy. The walls were lined with folded cots, while the rest of the floor space was crammed with cardboard boxes that held the children’s faded clothing. Hazel pointed toward a stack of folded quilts lying in the far corner of the room and said, “You can sleep there.”

Sunny set her things down and followed Hazel back to the kitchen. She sat down in a rickety chair and Hazel handed her the baby while she heated up a pot of coffee. The baby’s gums were swollen and feverish. Sunny recalled her grandmother’s remedy for teething babies and placing the baby on the floor, she went to the bedroom. She opened her suitcase and removed a copper penny strung on a leather thong. She came back and placed it around the baby’s neck, saying, “There, he should feel better soon.”

Hazel poured the coffee and sat down at the table with Sunny, asking about old friends and relatives on the reservation.

By midday everyone had been fed, and the children wanted to take Sunny around to get her acquainted with the new surroundings. After a short walk, Sunny knew there was nothing here that would remind her of the reservation. Their small creek and wooded places could never replace the old singing river and the wide-open plains. She thought of Cheering Woman and the freedom of reservation life, and was once again overwhelmed by deep loneliness and knew she was already homesick.

Even though Sunny was only ten years old, from the very beginning it was made clear that she was to help Hazel with the chores to pay for her room and board. From morning till night she cooked, cleaned, washed, ironed and took care of the vegetable garden.

At the end of each day, when all the chores were completed, the children would gather around Sunny waiting to go for a walk in the woods. They loved listening to the old Indian stories and all the secrets about nature, just as Sunny had done when her grandmother taught her on their many long walks. This created a certain warmth among them.

Weeks passed and Sunny tried to get to know her father, but he refused to acknowledge her presence. Sam ruled the family with an iron hand, expecting everyone to understand and respond immediately without hesitation or question to his grunts and glares. Sunny soon learned to read the looks and gestures of his voiceless orders. Fear was his enforcer and you either followed Sam’s rules or suffered the consequences. No one dared speak in his presence except in answer to his commands. The mere idea of refusing to obey his orders was unthinkable.

Sam believed emotion was a sign of weakness, and never demonstrated any affection or allowed anyone else to show any kindness in his presence. Sunny often wondered how long she would be able to survive in the midst of this loveless void.

The rules were well established for everyone in the household except Sam. All meals were eaten in silence and no one was allowed to leave the table until Sam had completed his meal. Everyone was assigned duties in the clean up of the kitchen, except Sam. After dinner he kept everyone busy doing chores outside, sometimes till long after dark.

Late one evening Sam arrived home reeking of liquor. This was a very bad sign, and the children either scurried to their bedroom or quickly disappeared. Sunny was putting the baby to bed when he growled from behind his newspaper, “Sunny, go to the store and get me a bottle.”

She reacted like a startled deer at her father’s harsh command. She grabbed a jacket and hesitated at the door.

“It’s getting dark. Can one of the kids go with me?”

“Fuck no! I don’t give a goddamn if it is dark. I told you what to do, now go do it! And don’t you ever give me any fucking back talk again. You understand me, girl?”

Sunny hurried out the door, fearful of what would happen if she waited a moment longer. Everyone was afraid for her as she ran past the window in silence. It was a cold, moonless night and she decided to take a shortcut across the back field and through the woods. As she clutched her jacket close to ward off the cold, tears of hurt and anger rolled down her face. Her heart was filled with pain at Sam’s cruelty.

As she approached the clearing she could see the sawmill looming like a tortured, deformed shadow in the darkness. When she drew closer she saw several dark figures lurking around one of the logging trucks near the front entrance.

“Hey, little girl, where you going?” squawked a boisterous voice.

Sunny quickened her steps, fearing she might be their intended prey. Looking at the ground, she pulled her jacket even tighter, and started to run.

“Hey, come here, little girl. Daddy’s got a nice long hot dog for you.”

The meaning of his crude remark was all too clear. Heart pounding, she picked up her pace.

Other voices shouted from the direction she was headed.

“Hey, little girl, come over here. We’ve got something for you,” they guffawed, shining the truck’s bright lights into her face.

“Holy shit! That’s the crazy Indian’s kid! We better get the fuck outta here.” The men scrambled into the truck and with tires screeching, they drove off.

Sunny was filled with terror. She ran deep into the woods and propelled back across the open pasture. She was breathless when she entered the house. Sam looked at his watch then noticed she did not have his bottle.

“Where’s my goddamn bottle?”

“I didn’t get to the store,” Sunny whispered, eyes on the floor. Sam rose from his chair in a blinding rage as he towered over her. “There was a pack of wild dogs near the sawmill and I was too afraid so I came back!” she mumbled.

Sam stared at her in disbelief for disobeying him. “Goddamnit, girl! That’s a fucking lie. I was by there earlier and there was no fucking dogs! I told you to go get me a bottle of liquor! What does a fucking bunch of dogs have to do with what I told you to do?”

Sam grabbed his coat and dragging Sunny by the sleeve he headed for the door, snarling, “C’mon, you little whore! You better be able to prove your words if you want to live.”

He pushed her into the cab of the truck and drove recklessly toward the mill, circling it many times as he shined his flashlight into the surrounding woods.

“I don’t see any fucking dogs! Where are they Sunny?”

“I don’t know,” Sunny whimpered.

“Let me tell you. There are no goddamn dogs. Tell me the fucking truth before I kill you! You lying piece of shit! You know how much I hate a liar!”

Sam slammed on the brakes causing Sunny’s head to hit the windshield. Filled with wrath, he exploded as he doubled up his fist and struck her hard. Blood trickled from her mouth as silent tears ran down her face. Still not satisfied, he grabbed her by the hair, dragged her from the truck and threw her on the ground.

Sunny recoiled in pain, screaming like a wounded animal.

As the savage beating continued, he drew back his foot and kicked her viciously in the stomach. She screamed and cried and tried to crawl away, but Sam became even more outraged by her apparent cowardice. He yanked Sunny to her feet and holding her close to his face, he slapped her then threatened, “Shut your fucking mouth. Only a fool would try and run from me. If you ever try that again, I’ll hunt you down and kill you. Nobody crosses me and lives to talk about it.”

Sam stared coldly at her, unmoved at the sight of the blood that gushed from a deep gash across her forehead.

“You’re nothing to me and you never will be! You’re just another whining female and you’re damn lucky I don’t put you out of your misery!” he thundered, throwing her back into the truck.

Sunny remembered her grandmother’s warning and recognized the Evil One in Sam. As her spirit wilted, her eyes held a blank stare and she willingly submitted, just as if she were one of Sam’s hound dogs.

“There were no dogs. I was afraid to tell you about the men in the blue truck that were at the sawmill,” she whimpered.

“What men?” exploded Sam. “No man would ever touch a kid that belongs to me! They know I’d kill them!”

Sam double-clutched, slammed the gears into first and spun the truck out of control. He wrestled with the steering wheel for a moment, changed gears and sped down the highway. When they arrived at the liquor store, he left the engine running and swaggered into the store.

Blood poured into Sunny’s eyes. She cracked the door before Sam could return and leaned down to grab a handful of dirt to press against her forehead.

Sam threw a ten dollar bill on the counter, saying, “Gimme a quart of Jim Beam and if some assholes in a blue truck come around, tell them I’ll be seeing them soon.” He grabbed his change and as he strode out he cracked the seal and took a swig while heading back to the truck. Sam sucked on his bottle, letting out a sigh of relief as the warmth of the alcohol temporarily silenced him. He placed the bottle between his legs and drove home.

Sunny glanced at him from the corner of her eye sitting frozen, until Sam pulled into the yard and ordered her into the house.

Hazel gasped in horror. “Oh, my God, Sam! What have you done?”

The kids saw Sunny and quickly slipped back into their bedroom.

“It’s none of your business, so shut your fucking mouth, woman! Stop her bleeding or you’re gonna get the same thing!”

Looking directly at Sunny, he added, “If you ever lie to me again, I’ll kill you. And don’t ever act like a coward around me! If you’re not brave enough to fight for your beliefs, then you’re not strong enough to have a fucking belief. I walk my talk, girl, and don’t you ever doubt it!” He turned like a violent tornado and left the house, slamming the door behind him.

Frantically, Hazel got a wet cloth and with shaking hands she cleaned Sunny’s face, saying, “My God, how could you lie to him when you knew he was drinking? Now he’s gonna get really drunk, then who knows what he’ll do to the rest of us.”

Hurt by Hazel’s words, Sunny pushed her away and went to find her medicine pouch to get some valerian root powder. She pressed it into the open wound, then lay down on her pallet and cried.

Hours passed as Sunny listened to Hazel pacing the floor like a caged animal. Sunny felt sorry for her and got out her prairie dog tooth to pray for mercy on her behalf. The children heard her prayers and moved close, hoping that her prized tooth could stop the beatings.

A dark shadow loomed over the house as everyone waited with dread for Sam to return. An empty darkness filled Sunny’s tormented soul with helplessness as she thought of what she had created for the family. This can’t be happening. I know there’s no love lost between Sam and me, but I think I fear him more than Gnaski, the devil himself.

When Sam returned shortly after midnight all the youngsters pretended to be asleep. From their bedroom they heard him alternate between demanding sexual pleasures and ruthlessly beating Hazel. Throughout the long night Hazel screamed and whimpered, begging Sam to spare the life of their unborn child.

Sunny covered her ears to block out the screams and pitiful pleas, but the horrific sounds still filtered through.

Shortly after daybreak she heard Sam get into his truck and drive away. Sunny jumped up and rushed to the kitchen. She found Hazel’s unconscious naked body sprawled on the floor lying in a pool of blood, beaten beyond recognition, a lifeless infant between her legs.

Sunny grabbed a quilt to cover Hazel and called out to the children to stay in their room. Hazel stirred, then moaned slightly when Sunny cut the baby free. She cleaned the small body, then wrapped it in a blanket and handed it to Hazel who took it and held it tenderly to her bosom, wailing in anguish.

Sunny went to her room and when she returned she placed her bear necklace around Hazel’s neck, saying, “Grandmother gave me this necklace, and I want to give it to you. One of the old people carved it from chokecherry wood. It’ll stop your bleeding. Hold it close to your heart and it’ll make you as strong as an old bear, then you can protect yourself from Sam.”

She took the baby from Hazel’s arms, then carried it into the woods where she dug a small grave and solemnly gave it back to Mother Earth. She placed a small stone on top, then took her pipe and prayed for the baby’s soul, promising she would never forget this day.

Chapter 4
Meeko's Birth

It was earth year 1943 when a powerful force hurled a spiritual being forward with great urgency to another life on Mother Earth. This male soul agonized over the possibility that without this birth it could be lost forever in time and space. Consumed with despair, he cried out to Wakan Tanka to have mercy.

A grave cloudiness loomed over another Montana reservation as the spirit neared its destination. The mortal energy was very dense and held deep sadness, overwhelming the soul who recognized it as remorse exuding from the people. Defenseless against such intense negativity, the spirit succumbed to the stabbing pains of terror that ran rampant over Mother Earth. “I will not be cheated out of this mortal life. I must find the appointed vehicle if I am to have a physical birth,” raged the soul.

The local bartender who knew nothing of these happenings was thankful to be closing another pseudo-glamorous night in his Indian bar. With haughty arrogance he observed his customers, knowing he had taken the lion’s share of their monthly checks. He smiled coldly as he opened the cash register to check his revenue, then hit the overhead lights. “Okay, people, let’s go. It’s been a long night. Last call! Motel time! Come back tomorrow and we’ll do it again,” he announced, his nose curling at the smell of missed urinals and stale vomit drying on the floor.

One by one his customers reluctantly drained their glasses and staggered toward the door, carrying many a bottle hidden under their jackets for the early morning hours to provide the hair of the dog that bit them the night before. As the bartender locked the door behind the last one, he chuckled, knowing they would be sitting on the curb before six o’clock waiting for him to open. He wasn’t surprised when he saw a young Indian girl lying face down at the end of the bar. “Goddamnit, Renna! C’mon, get the hell outta here. I’m closed,” he barked, shaking her by the shoulder. Renna raised her head and stood with the help of the nearest barstool.

“C’mon! Get your shit together, goddamnit! This pisses me off!” he yelled, grabbing her by the jacket. Renna downed her drink and vomited before she reached the front door. “Sonuvabitch! Get the fuck outta here. You goddamn fucking Indians are all alike!” he yelled, pushing her onto the street. “What the fuck are you doing out anyway? You should be home! Don’t you fucking know you’re ready to drop that baby any time?”

“Don’t tell me nothing, you Wasichu bastard. I do what I wanna do,” growled Renna.

“Fucking right, bitch! You’re all alike! Drunk, broke or begging,” he mumbled, slamming the door.

As the sidewalk spun up to meet her face, Renna leaned against the building then fell down in a drunken stupor. The winds joined her in a mournful cry as they whipped the freshly falling snow over her body. As she lay staring at the bluish haze reflecting from the street light, she saw the town through mystic eyes and enjoyed this moment of strange beauty. The cold night had a sobering effect and made her realize that she could not go home in her present state. She dragged herself to her feet, knowing she must make it to the truck stop if she was to have a free meal and a bed for the night.

The seventeen-year-old Renna struggled as she staggered slowly along, fighting against the unrelenting winds that punctured the shadowed futility of her pitiful life. Crossing the railroad tracks, she felt the impact of yet another invisible wall, the wall which separated the white people from the dirty Indian. “Damn this fucking place and all that’s connected to reservation life!” She screamed as she tried to cover her protruding belly with her coat for protection against the unyielding winds that fought hard against her. “Fuck it! I’ll take my peace from the bottle,” she wailed into the silent hours of the early morning. Desperately she searched for her brown paper bag and with unsteady hands unscrewed the cap then sucked the bottle dry to rid herself of the excruciating pain. She flung the bottle onto the pavement in defiance, laughing in triumph as she watched it shatter into a thousand pieces.

At that moment, Renna’s water broke, causing her to catch her breath as she went into labor. Crying out for help into the darkened and deserted street, she slowly staggered back toward the bar. As the pains intensified, she managed to crawl down the alley behind the bar until the pain finally forced her flat on the ground. And there she lay, helpless among the overflowing garbage cans, wailing, praying and screaming in pitiful agony.

“Hau, Wakan Tanka,” she screamed, bearing down hard against the torrent of pain, feeling as if her body was going to explode. “Somebody! Please send me help!” she begged. Placing her hands between her legs, she felt the baby’s head protruding from her body and clawed at it until the infant slowly emerged into the world, still connected to the cord of life that had sustained it for the last nine months. Renna’s pain was replaced by a dull, throbbing ache as she lay in silent helplessness, unaware that the child had not yet filled its lungs.

The snow continued to fall, covering her unwanted child with its first blanket. Renna was oblivious to the soul encased in a sphere of soft blue light that hovered above the infant. Feeling the loveless moment, it accepted with great sorrow the reality of never knowing a mother’s love. Attempting to protect this fragile new life and hoping to generate a life force, the soul tried again and again to enter the motionless, wet body. I must protect this vehicle if I am to experience this birth, the soul thought and called upon the powers of life. “Oh, Wi, touch this newborn with warmth and ignite its life fire.” But Father Sun did not hear, and the child’s body remained cold and lifeless, its lungs not yet filled with their Niya, the breath of life, given by Taté, the Wind.

The silence of the night was shattered when hoards of hungry rats, the four legged vultures of death and disease, started searching among the garbage for their dinner. Finding meager pickings in the trash cans, they approached the newborn and began to eat from its bloody body. A little field mouse, surveying its surroundings from the top of an overturned garbage can, twitched his whiskers in great puzzlement, unable to recollect ever having seen a hairless two legged lying in his dinner. He watched the two legged’s soul light moving in and out of the wee body as more rats began to nibble at its arms then its legs. Filled with heartache, the soul cried out in desperation to Wakan Tanka, begging Great Spirit to save the child that was to house him.

At that moment in a small house across town, an old white-haired medicine man awakened with a start at the sound of a baby’s cry. He sat up to see a large bluish ball of light hovering over his head and heard the heart-rending cries from within its core. Renna! He jumped up and raced to the other room to find her cot empty. Dressing quickly, he jumped into his truck, allowing the blue light to guide him toward Wolf Point where he knew Renna was likely to be found.

“Where is that girl?” he asked himself as he approached the south side of town. The streets were deserted, yet he still felt her presence. As he neared the alley he saw the ball of light hovering behind the bar. He pulled to a stop and got out, rushing as fast as his legs would carry him. He stopped abruptly when he saw Renna lying on the ground with a small form between her legs. “Oh, Tunka'shila,” Granbear said, tears of gratitude filling his eyes. “Thank you. You have guided me well.”

Opening her eyes, Renna saw her grandfather and cried out, “Oh, Granbear. Over here! Hurry! Thank you for coming. Please help me.”

Granbear squinted his eyes for a better look. “Oh, Tunka'shila, are my eyes deceiving me? Has my great-grandson been born?” Bending down to look closer at the small shape between Renna’s legs, he saw the rats chewing on the baby’s blood-covered body. Immediately his joy turned to fury as he stood up and began swinging his walking cane over the child until the last of the heartless intruders had scurried away. Looking more closely, he saw a round silver-blue light enter and re-enter the baby again and again. “What miracle is this?” asked Granbear, knowing he had been guided by the Great Spirit to save this child.

Filled with amazement, Granbear humbly witnessed the miracle of a spirit entering a body to give it life. “Hau, Wakan Tanka, thank you for allowing me to be part of my great-grandson’s birth,” he prayed as he knelt down, joyful tears flowing down his wrinkled cheeks. Using his pocket knife, he severed the umbilical cord and stuffed it into his pocket. Taking his fingers, he cleaned out the baby’s mouth and offered it his breath, then smacked its tiny butt. As a lusty cry burst forth breaking the silence of the night, Granbear echoed this moment of happiness with joyful laughter, offering the baby up to Wakan Tanka. “Oh, thank you, Great Spirit, for allowing my great-grandson to live. How can I ever repay you for such a wonderful gift? Tunka'shila, I am honored to witness such a miracle. Hau, Mitakuye Oyasin.” With trembling hands Granbear tightly wrapped the baby in his jacket and held it close to his body for warmth, saying, “Come, Renna, the baby is badly hurt. We must get home.”

With Granbear’s help Renna struggled to her feet, and three generations of Bear Clan headed for home. Gently the old medicine man placed the infant on the seat between them. They drove in silence until without warning Granbear burst into a special birthing song. He knew Wakan Tanka had extended his ninety-two years of earth time to train this baby in the old ways and the mere thought made him feel young again. After he pulled into the front yard, Granbear shut off the engine and got out of the truck. Holding the baby lovingly in his arms, he carried it into the house where he proceeded to take total ownership of Renna’s child.

Auntie Lizzie, a heavy set woman with a worry-creased brow, was standing in the doorway and smiled when she saw they were all safe. Wringing her hands in her apron, she said, “Oh, Grandfather, I was so worried. I’m glad you found her and that everyone is safe.”

“No need to worry, Lizzie. Renna’s had a boy child. You help her, and I’ll take care of the baby.”

Auntie Lizzie guided Renna toward her cot behind the cookstove. “Whatever are we going to do with you, Daughter?” she scolded, covering her with a star quilt. Renna, still dazed from alcohol and giving birth, rolled over and faced the wall to escape another lecture from her mother. Lizzie quickly boiled some bitterroot tea and forced Renna to drink it, saying, “This will help you get well.”

“Let her be, Lizzie. Heat a kettle of water and let’s get this baby cleaned up and into some warm clothes.”

Auntie Lizzie stoked the fire and placed another kettle on to boil, thinking it had been a long time since a baby had blessed their home. Filling a pan with warm water, she took the baby from Granbear, and as she started to bathe it, she burst into tears. “Oh, Granbear, this child is so weak and what are these awful bites? It looks as if a demon has tried to take its life. I think these wounds are going to leave bad scars.” Raising her voice to Tunka'shila, she prayed, “Have mercy on this family. Do not let this child become another cursed soul.”

“Easy, Daughter, the baby will live. The rats may have taken some flesh, but don’t worry, no demon will ever take a soul away from this medicine man,” declared Granbear as he busied himself preparing a medicine salve. Lizzie handed the baby to Granbear and stood watching him as he applied it to the infant’s wounds while chanting an old medicine healing song.

He then handed the baby to Lizzie who wrapped it tightly in a soft blanket, saying, “Grandfather, I know this soul will be safe with your medicine. Did you notice the big bones of this child?”

Granbear took the baby in his arms and sat down in his rocker next to the stove. “Good Sioux blood, Daughter. Someday he will be very big in many ways,” chuckled Granbear.

“Is that so, Grandfather?” responded Lizzie, smiling fondly as she got up and put another pot of coffee on the stove.

As the wonderful aroma of boiling coffee filled the house, a gentle smile crossed Granbear’s face and he gathered his thoughts before speaking. “Lizzie, I witnessed my great-grandson’s soul enter his body. Ah yes, Wakan Tanka works in strange ways. Who would ever think I would be given such a beautiful gift from the Great Spirit? This soul and I have shared many lifetimes and Wakan Tanka has seen fit for us to share in another mortal destiny. Yes, Daughter, this soul has a profound destiny and is a gift to the people. This is why he has been given to us. I will help direct his birth purpose and prepare him to someday become medicine and serve the people. This child will help bond all the Indian nations as one people. If this is not so, then who is this I hold in my arms?”

Upon hearing Granbear’s words, Auntie Lizzie recalled when long ago he had spoken of a special one that would be born to the Bear Clan. As she fussed with the baby’s blanket, she had no doubts about his predictions of the future. They waited for the coffee to finish brewing, soothed by the pot’s steady rhythm as its fresh aroma joined their thoughts.

“Pour me a cup of that coffee, Daughter,” said Granbear, looking deep into the bright face of his great-grandson. As if in answer to his unspoken words, the baby opened its eyes and stared back. Granbear felt an intense inner knowing between him and his great-grandson and he embraced the moment in silence as he sipped his coffee. This connection between them seemed to come from the understanding of their many shared dreams from another time and place. “Lizzie, I want you to always remember what I’m about to say. I know this soul. This child belongs to me, not to Renna. We will raise him until he is ready for his boy training, then I’ll take him to my apprentice, Shadowhawk.”

“Well, Grandfather, that’s a wonderful plan.” Lizzie smiled thinking fondly of Shadowhawk, her ex-husband. They were very young when they had first met, what a pity they were no longer together. But still, Shadowhawk was a fine man, a great warrior and a very good medicine man.

“Ah, Granbear, it seems the past has met with the future. Don’t you think you and the new baby have many things to discuss. But first Grandfather, don’t you think you should give him a name before he starts on this long journey with you?”

Noticing the projected indifference of the baby’s eyes, Granbear said, “Lizzie, this child carries two souls, yet they are one. This is very unusual. I think the younger soul was Creek in its last life, but the older one is, and always was, Sioux. We must choose the name carefully so as not to offend either spirit. A Creek friend once told me that such a child as this was called a Meeko, a special born one. If what I suspect is true, I must train him in a special way so he will surrender his soul to deeper awareness. Hmmm, this is definitely a Meeko. That’s what we will call him. Meeko, the special born one.”

Lizzie did not reply. Seeing the tightness of her lips, Granbear laughed and said, “I did not know you were so prejudiced. Isn’t a Creek name good enough for your grandson, or did you want him to have a good Sioux name?”

“Yes, Grandfather, I did. This child is Sioux, and a Sioux name is more fitting. But I know what you say is true, therefore I have no doubt about your decision. I know nothing of this other soul, but you are strong medicine and the name is up to you.”
“Well, Daughter, if my decision is bothering you, then bring my pipe and we shall ask this soul for its name.”

Lizzie handed him the pipe and as Granbear filled and lit it, he prayed, “Hau, Wakan Tanka. I am no longer a tired old man. Once again you have given me the opportunity to become a useful tool and be your faithful servant. Help us understand this soul’s mission and give us a sign to guide us to his rightful name.” Granbear passed the pipe to Lizzie. As the winds came down the stovepipe it suddenly popped loudly and shot bright red flames across the room.

A strong voice echoed, “This soul is a true Meeko. Teach him the ways, and as spirit I will guide him until his mission on earth is completed.”

Terror struck Lizzie’s heart and she quickly handed the pipe back to Granbear. As he smoked the last of the tobacco, he prayed, “Oh, Tunka'shila, thank you for the sign. I am humbled. I will do as you ask and train him to walk in honor just as his forefathers, so he too can learn the joy of sharing in a good way. Hau, Wakan Tanka, let it be so. Hau, Mitakuye Oyasin.”

Granbear and Lizzie wept with happiness at the completion of the spirit’s visit. Lizzie wiped her eyes and apologized profusely for having doubted Granbear’s knowledge. “Oh, Até, if this is what Tunka'shila wants, I will support your every endeavor in raising this child.” Picking up the baby, Lizzie held it close to her breast and beseeched the spirit helpers to give Granbear no more responsibility than he could handle at such an advanced age. Yet, underlying her thoughts, remained the fear that this baby would become just another damned soul, born to have its life choked off by the government’s steel grip on reservation life. Fervently hoping otherwise, she readied for bed and as Granbear blew out the light, all was silent and peaceful in the Bear Clan home.

Chapter 7
The Medicine Wheel
Eagle

Early the next morning the sun rose on the shadowy figure of Granbear standing in the West Door of the Medicine Wheel. Showing proper respect, Meeko waited in the distance, hoping he would be allowed to continue his studies. As his morning prayers were completed, Granbear motioned him to enter the Medicine Wheel and sit quietly by his side.

“Grandson, this sacred Medicine Wheel is very ancient and has many invisible circles to teach you. It will reveal all its knowledge as you learn to walk in balance and harmony with Mother Earth. But first we need to get rid of false ideas about ourselves so we can be aware of the true spirit of life. It is nature that teaches us survival and opens the door to our hearts.”

Thrusting his chin forward, Granbear indicated the four directions of the Medicine Wheel and said, “The good Red Road runs North to South, and the Black Road of experience, runs East to West. Now, that’s the four directions. The spiritual Red Road is long and walked by few. If you are among the special born ones who complete this difficult journey, living between worlds will bring you much beauty.

“But let’s start at the beginning. Before entering the Sacred Medicine Wheel, we purify ourselves with sage since Wakan Tanka wants us to come to the sacred spirit beings with a pure heart.” Granbear took a pinch of tobacco and offered it in prayer to the West Door where he would begin Meeko’s training.

With hooded eyes, he looked at Meeko, saying, “Grandson, long before the white race came to our land, the people lived in a good way and walked the sacred wheels of life in prayer, always honoring the teachings of Mother Life and the sacredness of silence. We know the West is the home of Wanbli Gle'ska, who speaks to us from where the sun goes over down. So we enter at the West Door, since it was the first direction established, then we travel clockwise. When we lift our eyes to the sky looking for the great Sun Bird Chief, he makes us search until we find the excitement of him in our hearts.

“Being the highest-flying bird in the world, Wanbli Gle'ska tells his earthbound brothers and sisters to fly high so they can see the bigger picture of life before making decisions. Grandson, life’s hesitations create fear and procrastination, and these surely confuse the mind. Eagle power can stop this uncertainty once you rid yourself of useless beliefs. This sky patroller tells earthbound children to go forward and expand their horizons, to express themselves simply and beautifully while accepting the harshness of life. Eagle also tells you to look at a situation according to its merits and never allow anyone to discourage you from your goal.

“If you listen to Wanbli Gle'ska, you will feel him forcing you to refine your feelings as he moves through your heart, piercing your soul with such beauty that you will understand his great wisdom. Freedom is letting Eagle draw you into flight and guide you to the unlimited power of the spirit world. This opens your heart and lets you transform your weaknesses into strengths. Only then can you understand the humility one needs in order to fly with Wanbli Gle'ska.

“Once you can see the ever-changing cycles of your life and be willing to face the unexplored questions in your mind, you will be able to take a weakness and turn it into a strength. But if you keep harmful thoughts, your mind will create a bad life for you and those you love. You see, a person is never just their past. They become who they are by the way they think about their past.

“Ah, Meeko, Eagle shows us his teachings in how he lives and dies. Did you know that Eagle only works about fifteen minutes a day, then spends the rest of his day grooming his mighty wings to be ready for another flight? Think of how Eagle made you feel as you watched him soar high above in his many flying designs. He can see the smallest of movements and when he folds his wings and drops from the sky, he knows that Great Spirit has given him food so he can live for another day.

“Remember how Eagle came to you in your hour of need and gathered you up in his powerful wings to bring you home? What you heard was his sacred truth calling you back to the drum. You flew high above with Eagle that day. It’s once again time to listen to this king of the sky and search to find the raw beauty that sleeps in your soul.

“They say this multi-colored bird flew so close to the sun that his magnificent wings started to melt and caused his colors to run together. That’s how he got the name Golden Eagle. It was Wakan Tanka who made Wanbli Gle'ska his bravest sky messenger. He takes our prayers on his feathers to the spirit of Red Rope who goes between Creator and all the earth children. It takes great preparation to fly with Wanbli Gle'ska, Meeko, for he commands that seekers understand the above and below powers. Eagle says, ‘Before you can fly with me, you must find that power within yourself.’

“It’s an honor to wear an eagle’s feather, and it takes an act of bravery or a great deed to be worthy of such an honor. We, as a people, never give anyone a golden eagle feather unless they have proven their worthiness.

“Why, even our Dog Soldiers and medicine people must earn the right to carry this sacred feather. Because eagle’s strength and swiftness is matched by no other, we always trust the wearer. In the old days, an eagle feather was its owner’s greatest possession, and the loss of an eagle feather brought dishonor. A warrior would rather give up his wife or his horse than lose one,” said Granbear with a twinkle in his eyes.

Meeko watched closely, for behind Granbear’s gestures and amusing smiles, trickery could be hiding. Thinking of Shadowhawk, he quickly searched his mind to make sure he understood the lesson. Feeling assured, Meeko started to ask a question, as Granbear brought his hand up to his mouth. “Be silent as Eagle. I’ll be back this afternoon.” Meeko remained silent with eyes lowered for he knew if he didn’t he would be there for who knows how long. It was almost dark when Granbear returned. “Did you enjoy your day with Eagle?”

“Oh, yes, Granbear, especially learning about the sacred feathers. You have so many, why even your war bonnet has two stringers that reach to the ground. You must be a very important person.”

Granbear smiled, “Ah yes, and I earned every one of them. These feathers give me the strength to fly with Eagle and study the world from high above. One must search a long time to see beauty through the eyes of Eagle. When you grow into this kind of power, Meeko, it will take over everything in your life.” Getting up to leave, he told Meeko, “You stay here for the night. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Meeko was confused about why he had been left without food or blankets since he had shown no disrespect. Feeling rejected, he curled up in the West Door and pouting, cried himself to sleep.

Meeko awakened at daybreak, his body shaking from the cold. He was grateful when the sun rose and warmed him. Granbear arrived and motioned for him to leave the Medicine Wheel, then handed him an egg sandwich and a cup of hot coffee. “Meeko, when you finish eating, get cleaned up and come back. Now hurry! We have a lot to do today.”

Granbear was just putting away his pipe when Meeko approached the Medicine Wheel, waiting to be invited to enter. They sat in the West as Granbear began the day’s lesson. “Grandson, long ago I wanted to become an eagle catcher. I spoke with Medicine about earning this gift and spent many moons learning about Eagle. Finally I was chosen with the greatest of care by an old chief who had decided that I was smart enough to capture Golden Eagle.

“I fasted for four days and did many sweats to prepare my mind. When I was ready, I stalked Eagle. When I found his favorite hunting grounds, I built my shelter near the water to learn how to blend into his territory. Only with great patience and will was I able to handle the elements. Many times I thought I was on an impossible quest, but in time we became adjusted to each other’s presence. I learned I could mimic eagle’s screaming, shrill voice and when I called to him he would answer. I lived the way he did until I too was an eagle. Then I knew I was ready to be an Eagle Catcher.

“Early one morning I took my bear knife and dug a large pit in the ground, then cut many branches to cover the hole. I then smoked my pipe, asking Wakan Tanka to help me on my mission. Once satisfied I was doing the right thing, I took my bow and arrows and went in search of a rabbit. In late afternoon I returned to camp with a dead rabbit hanging over my shoulder. After carefully checking the blind, I tied the rabbit to the top and crawled inside to wait.”

Meeko, living every word of Granbear’s story, was spellbound and excitedly blurted out, “Granbear, why didn’t you ever tell me this story before?”

Granbear abruptly left the Medicine Wheel, sat under a nearby tree and lit his happy pipe, ignoring Meeko, who again was baffled by his grandfather’s behavior. The wise old medicine man smiled at him with a knowing look as he finished smoking his pipe and returned to the Medicine Wheel. “Meeko, if you don’t get out of your head and listen with your heart, you can never connect to the heart of Eagle. It’s sad you waste so much time asking questions instead of listening. Lack of knowledge can stunt your thinking and leave little room for your mind to work.

“Eagle is a wise stalker of thoughts. I know this, because that old bird watched me from above and kept me waiting in that pit for four days. Boy, did I ever learn patience from that master teacher. A few times he flew close, eyeballing the rabbit. And on the fourth day, I was thrilled to hear the singing winds rush through his wings, telling me that he was landing.

“It seemed like forever as I waited inside that blind. My heart pounded so loud that I feared it would destroy the silence. Then suddenly the eagle jumped to the top and moved toward the dead rabbit. I rose to my knees, reached through the branches, and with lightning speed grabbed his feet, pulling him into the pit. Once inside, though, he broke free of my grip and backed into a corner. Then we studied each other as still as could be. I knew if I made one wrong move, he would rip me apart.

“At this moment I too was Eagle and knew that to stay alive I would have to call forth the warrior in me. He charged, and I grabbed him without crushing a feather, then quickly broke his back. Crying out to Wakan Tanka, I asked forgiveness for taking Eagle’s life. A minute later, while I was still holding this beautiful sacred bird, the sky opened up and Eagle’s soul was released. I cried with joy as I heard his shrill, voice calling out to me, and I knew this sacred sentry of the sky was heading home to the Eagle nation.

“When I returned with the bird, there was indeed a great celebration among the people. I went directly to the medicine man, who had a sweat ready for me. I spoke to Eagle through my prayers and promised that every part of his body would become a strong spiritual tool for the people. As I left the sweat, I knew that Eagle had eaten my heart and we would always be one. I wrapped that sacred bird in sage for protection, and ever since I’ve used Eagle’s mind-heart power. Once touched by Wanbli Gle'ska, Meeko, your spirit will always track the wisdom in your soul through his flight.”

Granbear slowly handed his grandson a beaded golden eagle feather with red markings, saying, “Take this warrior feather. The mark of red paint means it was earned from a killing during battle. I hope that someday it will take you through the sun. When the right time comes, Shadowhawk will awaken the warrior that sleeps deep inside you. Once you have done battle and taken a life you will never forget it.”

A strange power surged through Meeko as he took the feather. Holding it close to his heart, he trembled for he felt the vibration of death roll over his body.

“Now that you have felt the power of Wanbli Gle'ska, Gatekeeper of the West Door, I will leave you to think about his gift.”

Meeko thought about the superiority of Eagle, whose powers far surpassed human capabilities. He cried as he remembered the magnificent bird that had once called out, “How high can you fly, Meeko?” His heart gripped by talons of terror, Meeko knew he must change his feelings about Renna if he was ever to connect to the heart of Eagle. Not knowing how to release his pain, he raised his eagle feather in the air and prayed to Wakan Tanka to help him rise as the Thunderbird from the ashes of his past.

To escape the incessant flow of bad memories, Meeko left the Medicine Wheel, feather in hand, and began running. Not until long after dark did he return home, still filled with sadness. Pulling out the old eagle bundle from under his bed, he placed it beside him and crawled under the covers hoping to sleep. But he was restless, so he began caressing each bone and feather, reliving the helplessness he felt while watching Eagle fall from the sky. Suddenly he realized this sacred bird had sacrificed its life to help him attain freedom, giving him the courage to escape the orphanage and return to the reservation. And although he did not know it at the time, this same eagle would someday give him the power to return to Wakan Tanka and serve under the Law of One.

After breakfast the following morning, Meeko hurried to meet Granbear at the Medicine Wheel. They sat together in silence at the West Door. “Ah, Grandson, I’m proud of your efforts to connect to the power of Eagle, but there are many other flying ones who live in the West. You will learn that each one of them has very different abilities,” said Granbear as he continued to unfold the knowledge of the flying ones through his time-honored stories.

As a sparrow hawk flew nearby, Meeko smiled at the fierceness of his little face and immediately recognized his courage. With childlike excitement, Granbear said, “Thank you, little one, for sharing your gift with my grandson.” Then turning to Meeko, he explained, “Sparrow Hawk’s gift is the mind, and he knows all about your past lives. His graceful flight teaches us to take control of our thoughts and actions; in fact, he won’t be around anyone who runs in fear. To see Sparrow Hawk’s commitment in hunting, you must go to the grassy plains, because he lives mostly on insects and rodents. Grandson, when you want to do anything, you’ll need to know Sparrow Hawk’s power.

After lunch as Granbear and Meeko were walking along a new trail, they had a chance encounter with a red-tailed hawk. Granbear pointed in excitement. “See that warrior bird? We sometimes call him Little Eagle because he’s so fearless. Good warriors carry his honored feathers while searching out a hidden enemy since he teaches us to be aware of everything. He can attack an enemy of any size with perfect accuracy. There’s no mistaking the roaring thunder of his savagery when he folds his wings inward and falls from the sky.

“Each time our Dog Soldiers carried this winged warrior’s feathers with them into battle, they knew they would bring home victory. To be accepted by all the flying ones, Meeko, you must become sensitive to them. The winged ones demand you stalk yourself and find your truth before they will let you sit at their feast of knowledge. Only then can you feel the spirit of these beings and understand their shrill messages riding on the winds.”

It was almost dark when they returned home, tired and hungry from their long day’s journey. Granbear instructed Meeko to sit in the West Door of the Medicine Wheel and reflect on his new knowledge. Listening to the night creatures as they awakened, Meeko thought about hawks. Then he felt a chill of fear run up his spine as he heard one say, “Take pity on this puny human.” Disregarding Granbear’s instructions to stay in the Medicine Wheel, Meeko ran to the house and crawled into bed for the night, but he was still pursued by dreams of birds.

Before going to the arbor for breakfast the following morning, Meeko apologized to Granbear for his lack of courage, telling him of his dreams. “Granbear, Raven walked on my dreams last night. He took me to a world of darkness and spoke of things to come. Flying right ahead of me, Raven said, ‘You must know hawk and learn to battle your fears before you can fly with me,’ then he took off. Can you tell me what this means?”

“Ah yes, Grandson, I know much of this talking bird,” sighed Granbear, lighting his happy pipe. “He dares us to go into the invisible darkness of our feared future. Raven is the power of the prophet. He sees the past, present and future and speaks to us in Shadow World about how things are born into being. It takes a mighty worthy person to fly beyond time with him. Raven can fold time. It’s like watching an eclipse of our sun. He demands we have complete awareness of our thoughts.

“You must be able to spiral directly into the void before you can approach Raven, so he can show you how to attain your most desired dreams. Ah yes, Meeko, Raven commands that you build strong beliefs before he will teach you to manifest your dreams from a future that is not yet created. The power of such a powerful spirit speaking to you lets me know that you may have great intelligence and leadership abilities, but it will take much thought and courage to cross into the blue-black darkness of Raven’s unknown space.

“The old people always say that dreamers must be willing to walk between the known and the unknown worlds before Raven will even bother with them.” Granbear smiled mysteriously and leaned close to Meeko whispering, “Watch the sky. If you see two or more ravens flying restlessly, know you are in danger and go home to fight another day. Always listen closely to Raven, for he speaks the magic of the old language of the Shamans.”

Meeko’s eyes grew wide with fear as Granbear continued. “It was your choice to follow the old ways. But you can do nothing with Raven power until you learn to believe in yourself. Don’t be afraid, Grandson, someday you will accept the responsibility that comes with knowledge. I pray that you will have a strong mind with a good heart. The old ways demand discipline to build power. This is what drives us to our spiritual growth and makes life an exciting adventure.”

At that moment, a butterfly landed on Meeko’s left hand. As he sat admiring its beauty, he saw a woman’s face and felt a strange memory from another time and place. Granbear saw this and knew Meeko had made a connection to his soul’s purpose.

“Grandson, that butterfly is telling you to become persistent so you can understand his gentle message of love. Think of him as an ally in completing your transformation to a good life. Butterfly must go through four stages, and each carries many lessons. The first stage is the egg with its protective covering, teaching us to protect our plans and ideas. There is a hardened circular hole in the top that gives it time to think and prepare for its birthing as a caterpillar. Once it fattens up, the caterpillar weaves itself into a cocoon. There it must eat the knowledge before splitting open from its shell and emerging into our world as a beautiful, elusive butterfly.

“Those four stages of Butterfly teach us to be aware of the four seasons and the four stages of humanity. The first twenty years of our lives are spent in preparation. Over the next twenty years we become responsible for ourselves. The third twenty years teach us to become good adults. And the fourth twenty years teach us to become wise old people. Making the right transformation in every season of our lives prepares us to return to the spirit world.” When Granbear had finished speaking, the butterfly gently flew away.

“Granbear, how did you learn all these things?”

“As a young warrior, I talked to everything. So I asked Butterfly and he told me there was a gentleness in trust. I have always liked observing things. I had to commit to all of my learning with humility and thankfulness. Everything in my life demanded that I learn from my feats and defeats,” said Granbear, matter-of-factly. “Meeko! Don’t move! Another lesson is waiting. Look slowly to your right, and you’ll see a little chickadee.”

Meeko turned his head, whispering, “What does that mean?”

“Grandson, Chickadee is the power of joy. This little bird is always happy, you can hear it in his songs. Long ago he wanted all the knowledge and flew to every camp and listened without ever uttering a word. This taught him to listen to others and never interrupt. The Chickadee knows everything. He’s one of the smallest birds, yet he carries great power. That’s why he never fails himself. His happy little voice invites everyone to come and dance with him in celebration of all life’s changes. I honor the little feathers of Chickadee because he also teaches us the beauty of life, and reminds us that no matter how hard our life’s experiences become, they are merely lessons for learning.

“I remember once my father gave me a chickadee feather, and said, ‘Son, make plenty of friends, for they will become your human power.’ Someday, Grandson, I want you to become as fierce as Hawk and have the strength of Eagle, yet always touch life as gently as Butterfly. Only then can you say that you have entered the veil of Chickadee’s reality.

“As time goes by you will learn best in the silence of the Medicine Wheel. I want you to find the silent voice of your inner, untouched wilderness. It is that grand vision you must encounter to meet the most feared and dangerous beast in the world. That is yourself. When you can accept the beauty and the ugly that is hidden inside of you and challenges all that you are, then you can see your true self.

“Someday you will have to battle with two ravaging beasts, Greed and Destruction. Every life force lives with the unrest of these unscrupulous monsters. People with these demons do not understand that their dangerous thoughts and actions are destroying our planet. You must learn to fight and win the battle of ignorance so that Maka-Akan, Earth Spirit, can be brought back into balance. Someday you must make the people aware of the importance of Creator’s bigger plans for Maka Ina, Earth Mother.

Alarmed, Meeko asked, “Granbear, do you think the world will be destroyed?”

“Maybe, Grandson, I pray for the day when everyone wakes up and sees the grave damage that is driving Mother Earth into helplessness. Come, we’ll go sit with Tunka'shila and ask him to show you these many truths that I’ve explained.” Granbear picked up his cane and headed toward the Medicine Wheel.

Granbear sat down quietly across from Meeko and took a deep breath. “Today you will join with my mind so you can see all the life forces of creation.” Seeing the worried look that cut a deep crease across Meeko’s brow, Granbear extended his hands cautiously and began to chant an old song. Slowly Meeko folded into many ecliptic dark pools with swirling shades of midnight blue. As he spun amidst the dark circles he heard Granbear’s voice tell him, “Relax, Meeko. We’re just creations from the paintbrushes of Wakan Tanka’s hand.”

Then another voice spoke from afar. “Welcome, Child. You have arrived in the heart of Wakan Tanka’s blessings. Your happiness comes from the ever-flickering light of truth that radiates from your mother, the Earth. When you can accept this, you will be able to speak directly to the talking shadows of all life’s reflections. Stop being afraid. Taste the black of darkness to learn the beauty in Good and Evil which is just a tool to teach you the power of your will. Build your strengths in love and goodness, and you will feed the lightning in your blood. This wisdom was fed to you from your people of long ago. Let me enter the stillness of your heart so we may bond in the space of all inner wisdom.”

Suddenly Meeko was falling. As he spun out of control, he saw his people dancing through time, removing the boundaries of fear that held him in bondage. He felt courage and trust break free from his slumbering soul and heard the stars speak of the old knowledge while he walked as a spirit through a veil of mystic shadows.

“Let the past hold you in peace under this blanket of pure sacredness,” whispered Granbear’s voice.

Meeko felt strange as another void of blackness engulfed him. Again, he spun out of control, screaming helplessly until he joined in a dance of circling winds that whipped him into a spring day. He saw a leaf grow from the center of another spiral and was swept up with it. Suddenly, the leaf turned into a field of fallen leaves covering the ground like shining crystals. He reached for one and instantly a tree filled with golden leaves sprang forth. Astonished, Meeko watched the sacred cottonwood tree turn into crystal-like cathedrals emerging from Granbear’s head.

“Use the secrets of breath that come before sunrise and you will visit many worlds,” said Granbear as he touched Meeko’s chest. Meeko felt his breath leave his body as he watched thousands of sun rays melt into streams of brightness flowing into Mother Earth’s body. A feeling of joy pierced his heart and Meeko felt his soul open into dimensional time, space. He screamed until he heard Granbear’s voice urging him toward a tunnel surrounded by shades of many dense colors.

As he entered the tunnel he melded with Granbear’s mind and tracked the spirit of Eagle. He knew Eagle’s touch and flew comfortably with him on webs of shimmering light energy that swirled through them. When they neared the center of everything, Meeko covered his eyes, fearing blindness from the brilliant light as they entered into the power of pure spirit love. Moving at light speed along shining filaments of pure energy, Meeko saw a group of strange looking people who were also working to return to the love of Wakan Tanka.

Spiraling outwardly upon these filaments, Meeko, Granbear, and Eagle rode the solar winds. While soaring, Meeko heard many birds speaking to the life-giving rains. Then many hills burst forth with blooming flowers as the flowing grass caressed the ground and the trees shouted in a glorious explosion of purified air. Suddenly he was surrounded by his long ago ancestors and heard an unfamiliar voice say, “Grandson, go back to the beginning of creation and know you will always be one with your people.”

Meeko’s body jolted forward, and he abruptly opened his eyes, knowing Granbear had shown him the power that lived in the sacred West Door of the Medicine Wheel.

Granbear let go of Meeko’s hands and they left the Medicine Wheel in silence. While they quietly ate their evening meal, Meeko knew everything was the same, yet incredibly different. As darkness covered the sky, he walked Granbear home under the light of the night sun. “Tomorrow we will begin our journey to the North Door,” Granbear smiled as Meeko helped him up the steps.

Meeko opened the door and turned on the light. “Granbear, can I sleep under the stars tonight? I want to think about what I saw in the West Door.” Granbear smiled, nodding his head in approval.

Later that evening, Shadowhawk stepped from the bushes. “Grandson, I’m glad you’re not asleep. I want to give you something that will help you understand the history of Eagle. Long before Europeans stepped on our shores, we had a strong relationship with Eagle. There is, and has always been a bond between the Red man and the Eagle nation. Since the beginning of creation, most every tribe has embraced a time-honored relationship with Wanbli Gle'ska.

The Medicine Wheel
Bear

“Our ancestors were always connected to life. They grew in spirit by walking with the strength of Bear. To follow Bear’s ways, you must become conscious of boundaries and be a fearless survivor. As a people, we have many secret societies named after Bear. You were born into Bear Clan, and I think it would be wise to practice Bear’s habits.

“Mato never bluffs, and makes us walk with honor and courage. The old hermit allows no creature to cross his boundaries. Why, only a fool would get into his space. If you do, that mean old cuss will get his dander up, and fight to the death, destroying everything in his path to get you. His temper is much like Shadowhawk’s was last night. Bear speaks his own language through grunts and body movements. If you’re ever in danger of overstepping Bear’s boundaries, remember he will warn you by giving a cough or a low growl.

“But don’t ever think that Mato can’t play, too. He can be boisterous and frisky, but in the blink of an eye, he can become fierce. Sometimes an apology offered with a little honey can sweeten a bear’s bad temper. Mato walks through life tearing up and discarding things. You must learn to recognize the dangerous side of his medicine. If you listen to my words and work hard to get a kinship with Bear, maybe he’ll touch you in a good way.

“Grandson, I have spent my life learning about this sacred brother. You must trust in this medicine man if you expect to learn the truth of Bear medicine. And as for Crazy Bear, well he’s just crazy. You show his traits by wanting your way all the time. One minute if someone goes against your wishes you’re angry, and the next minute you’re willing to do anything to keep peace. You just can’t react badly because of another’s opinion. This is something you do because you have no strong belief in yourself. You need to learn that acting for the good of all lets you control your emotions and make wise choices.”

Observing Meeko’s lack of interest, Granbear shouted fiercely, “Grandson, you carry so many silent opinions, that they are getting loud enough to hurt my ears. You’d better learn to listen! Don’t ever think you can outsmart this Ole Bear, or I’ll walk on your mind and rip the flesh right from your bones!”

At the thought of another mauling from Granbear, Meeko reflected on the proper response to this ultimatum. It seemed that since he had been learning about Bear, his great-grandfather was continually switching from threats to kindness, keeping him very confused. Maybe he should take a greater interest in Bear to comprehend what was happening.

“Granbear, why do you call bear our two-legged brother?”

“Grandson, Mato often walks in an upright position using his entire foot. When you are no longer a fearful human, you will understand this affectionate, adaptable old soul is a true brother.” Then Granbear’s face softened as he said, “When you were a little boy, I enjoyed taking you into the high mountains in winter. Those trips awakened your instincts, forcing you to learn how to survive under hard conditions. Seeing you so willing to accept life’s challenges and changes, I knew you could face life’s cruel lessons with courage. Go back to that time, Meeko, and remember that was Bear power.”

“Granbear, if I become a bear person, will that keep Renna out of my life?”

“No, but when you learn to think of her with love rather than hate, you will know how to accept who she is and keep your own boundaries.”

Nearly an hour passed without another word from Granbear while he let Meeko ponder this thought. Meeko knew that Granbear was right, but had no idea how to conquer his violent behavior. He wanted to correct his actions, but shame and fear kept him bound in a prison of self rejection.

Finally, Granbear smiled knowingly as he continued to deliberately step across his grandson’s boundaries. “Look how you refuse to share your thoughts with me. Why are you afraid to share yourself? I hope your disinterest in people doesn’t isolate you from the rest of the world. Where is your trust?

“Since birth you have shown the dual traits of Bear. Sometimes you have his courage and stamina, but you also have his laziness and you tend to dawdle. As a child you responded to gentleness, but lately you’ve been acting like Crazy Bear.

“I’ve seen you flirting with the girls. One day I even saw a girl bring you homemade cookies, and you acted just like an Ole Bear that had found a tree with honey. You better control your Crazy Bear nature before one of those girls gets jealous and turns into Crazy Bear and teaches you a lesson about rage.” Meeko never had realized that Granbear knew about this and turned red in embarrassment.

“Grandson, I have eyes that see beyond your thoughts. If you can get the same hunger for learning as you have for cookies, I’ll be happy. Sometimes I think you are both blessed and cursed with some of Mato’s ways. Besides the women, look how you love to curl up by a good fire at night to do your lazy daydreaming. Remember, I’m teaching you about Bear, not Coyote, the Trickster.”

Eager to change the subject, Meeko interjected, “Granbear, I’m trying hard to learn. I want to serve Wakan Tanka. Until I can do it from my heart, I know you won’t let me sing, dance, or share in Bear’s sacred medicines. But I really want to know the songs, dances and how to drum.”

Granbear took a deep breath. “Grandson, those things are all part of my teachings. The most important ceremony is your life journey. Bear, like Eagle, also demands we become keen observers, which gives us the ability to act quickly in any situation. Don’t you understand, even teaching is a sacred ceremony. You’re going to listen with your heart not your head, and you will trust this Ole Bear before I will continue.”

“But I do trust you, Granbear.”

“I hope you do,” countered Granbear, in an exasperated tone. “And I pray that you start using what I tell you so I won’t have to turn into Crazy Bear. I want you to eat my words until the ways of Bear become second nature to you. I promise that before I’m through you will act in mind and body as Bear.”

Afraid of upsetting Granbear, Meeko vowed, “I promise to work harder, but your lessons aren’t always so easy to understand.”

“Then just give me your attention without your opinions, Grandson. I’m concerned about your lack of respect for Medicine. If you keep going the way you are, you will never understand our ways.”

“Granbear, I know you’re right, but I can’t see how an animal can direct my life.”

In exasperation, Granbear answered, “Maybe if you would stop fighting and apply yourself to what you see, we would not be talking about your behavior!”

“Granbear, I try not to get angry and fight, but it’s the others who cause the problem not me,” argued Meeko.

“Meeko, Meeko. A fight starts in your thoughts before it comes through your fists. Stop fighting what’s outside and fight your inner battles. You can’t expect everyone to make you the center of their world. People are sick and tired of your temper tantrums. I will not talk with you anymore until you get out of your own way! Now, go away from me you bad person!” stated Granbear with cutting coldness as he got up and left the Medicine Wheel.

For the next two weeks, Meeko saw little of Granbear or Shadowhawk, and was happy to have the control of his time. He slept late each day and spent afternoons either girl watching or roaming around the reservation with his friends. But as time passed, he missed Granbear’s teachings. One day he found Granbear in the arbor and went to plead with him. “I know I was wrong. I promise I will show the proper respect and won’t interrupt you again. Please let me come back to learn the Medicine Wheel.” He then offered Granbear tobacco and sage.

Granbear took the gifts, knowing the time had come to resume their studies. He motioned Meeko to follow him to the Medicine Wheel. “Grandson, you are Bear Clan Sioux! It’s time you start honoring your ancestors by acting right! We Sioux want our children to become courageous warriors. That is the Bear way! Like Bear, we gather and store information for future generations. We eat bear meat to get his power, and honor him in all of our ceremonies. Some tribes believe that if they eat bear meat they would get sick and die.”

Then Granbear acknowledged, “Meeko, I know how you enjoy my stories, so if you promise to listen closely, I will tell you some of my favorite ones.” Meeko listened intently as his great-grandfather began another fascinating tale.

“Long ago, there was this strong Bear Clan brother who was a powerful bear hunter. Everyone admired but feared Bear Man, and most believed his blood had been replaced by Bear’s blood. Each time he brought a dressed-out bear into camp everyone would speak excitedly about his great bravery. Because I wanted to be like him, I started following him around camp, but always at a distance.

“Months passed, then one day he spoke to me about Bear power and said that a good bear hunter was very rare. For about two years I learned from his teachings. Then he gave me a perfect double-edged knife with a handle made from a large bear jaw, telling me to always carry this killing blade when I went alone into the woods. He told me that if I was ever attacked by a bear I must show no fear and respond to this sacred brother as an honorable warrior. I should move in close and stab him in the belly and chest until he fell to the ground. His words filled me with excitement and fear. Believe me, that Dog Soldier taught me that Bear will fight to the death, no matter whether it’s his opponent’s or his own. After hearing this, I was always cautious when I went into bear territory and was thankful that Bear never challenged me to a battle of life and death.

“One day I thought I was following Bear Man, but before I knew it, he had doubled back and silently walked up behind me. Placing his hand on my shoulder, he offered to tell me the secret of killing a bear. ‘You must pray, then ask brother bear for his life, promising to always honor his ways. You must be very careful when you kill him. If you take his life correctly, he will not return and take away your spirit. The moment Bear is dying, you must be brave enough to kneel down and take his last breath. You must be very careful, or he may fool you and take your breath instead. If this happens and Bear kills you, you will lose your soul’. He also told me that when the breath ceremony was finished, I should skin the bear out and wrap myself in its hide to become Bear medicine. I was also told to cut off its soft paws and ask it to teach me how to dig for the sacred medicine roots. I was then to return to camp, taking all of its body parts to use in my honoring ceremonies.

“Ah, Grandson, once a person kills a bear, he becomes a Bear Warrior and a great healer. Bear medicine lets him know the secrets of the sacred herbs and the skills of bone setting. After earning these rights, he can make the claws into a special necklace to show everyone he is Bear.

“That great warrior taught me so much about the sacredness of Bear medicine. Anytime he killed, he did it right so he could fill himself up with the spirit of Bear. I remember him walking through the camp wearing his many bear symbols; the women lusted after him, the children followed him with excitement, and the men made sure he was their friend.”

For once Meeko had listened intently to Granbear’s every word. The old medicine man’s eyes twinkled as he walked away, leaving his grandson eager for more.

Early the following morning Meeko was waiting to join Granbear in his prayer ceremony. As the sun peeked over the horizon, Granbear put away his pipe and went back to the arbor to visit with his friends. Disappointed, Meeko entered the Medicine Wheel alone to reflect on what he had already learned about Bear.

It was late afternoon before Granbear returned and found Meeko still sitting in prayer. Pleased Granbear said, “Grandson, I left you this morning because Bear is a wanderer. Did you know Bear taught us the lessons of following the seasons by moving around? We learned when it was time to leave the land so it could heal itself from our stay. When the season was right, we’d always return to find Mother Earth once again full of life, ready to take care of her children.

“The great grizzly is called ‘Old Man of the Claw,’ and is also known as the ‘Son of Chiefs.’ As the Gatekeeper of the North, his job is to protect our ceremonies, rituals and medicines. Ah yes, the Son of Chiefs shows his power by his unpredictable ways. He is a strong, spiritual animal and one of the finest shape-shifters on Mother Earth, but he refuses to speak to anyone who doesn’t follow his ways of life. Once Bear knows that you have made strong boundaries against all your intruders, including your own bad thoughts, he will teach you. You must know who you are before he will come to you, and if you try to trick him, it will be you who will suffer the consequences.

“Today I’m going to tell you how my uncle introduced me to a female bear.”

Meeko was thrilled at the prospect of hearing another true story.

“It was a cold winter day when Uncle and I were out on a hunting trip. We had enough supplies to last for two weeks if we lived off the land. We had spent two hard days traveling into a whipping head wind, when suddenly the clouds dropped to the ground and we couldn’t see our hands in front of our faces. A moment later, Old Cold Maker covered the land with a blanket of snow. Uncle said that we were in grave danger and could go no further until the storm had stopped. He quickly built a lean-to while I looked for dry wood to start a small fire. There we sat, huddled together for warmth, waiting for Father Sky to clear.

“Uncle said, ‘Nephew, don’t worry. We can’t argue with nature. If this storm keeps up, it will drive all the bears into their dens to begin their winter sleep. And this is good.’ He went on to say that their wise mothers taught them to be good survivors.

“As winter went on, we traveled deeper into the mountains looking for bear signs. When we finally got to their territory, we set up camp and scouted for empty dens. Uncle spotted a bear in the distance and said we better get downwind and hide. I saw it stand upright and stretch one big paw into the wind, then sniff it. Uncle said in a loud whisper, ‘She’s checking to see if anyone has crossed her boundaries. I think she’s going to have babies this year.’

“Uncle felt I needed to learn more about women and that this she-bear would be my best teacher. He said that this bear could teach me how to relate to the spirit world and that I should begin my visionary work with her. Every day for weeks we visited that spot, so I could learn her ways. We even found her den, and Uncle was glad to see the cave was empty except for dried leaves and pine boughs.

“Before leaving the mountains, we ran into another blinding blizzard and set up camp to wait it out. As we sat by the fire talking, Uncle told me that since there would be plenty of snow to cover the bear’s tracks, she would probably head for her den soon. Within a week, Uncle said it was time to visit her again. When we got to the cave, she was curled up, drifting into her winter sleep and waiting to give birth.

“On one of our visits, Uncle told me that female bears have great wisdom when it comes to their children. He explained that female bears can control their body functions. He also told me that during hibernation they stop eating and eliminating waste, but their bodies continue to build bones and lean muscle. Their body temperature lowers, and the sugar and fat levels in their blood are the same as a person with the sugar sickness, diabetes. That’s when bears are most vulnerable.

“Bear uses its mind to control its every need. I was amazed when I learned that a female is able to control her pregnancies. Uncle explained to me that a she-bear will not bring a new life into this world unless she is in good health and there is plenty of food for her cubs in the coming spring. If not, she will stop the pregnancy and give birth at another time. Human females could learn much about being good women and mothers if they would follow the ways of Bear.

“One night sitting around our fire, Uncle told me that it was the male bear who chooses the cave for the family, but when the cubs are born, Mama Bear chases him away, so he won’t eat her babies. You see, Meeko, bear cubs and human cubs are not able to survive without their mothers. Both must be taught these skills if they are to carry on their race.

“Now, Mama Bear knows what it takes to become a good bear and she is very strict with her cubs for about two years. The difference in a human mama and a bear mama is that when Bear speaks, her children listen! If a cub does not heed her every command, she will instantly swing a mean paw and correct the situation. She takes great care to see that her cubs live and become strong old bears.

“I became very excited about visiting the bear to see if she had cubs. One day when we went to her den, Uncle noticed the snow was melting away from her body and whispered, ‘She will wake up soon. Just to be safe, let’s move to another spot.’ We climbed high above the cave until we reached a place where Uncle had carved a small hole in the stone right over her bed. He motioned for me to look inside, where I saw the she-bear and her two cubs. I was surprised to see the cubs were almost hairless and shaped like blobs. Then Uncle told me bears are blind at birth, and that the mother licks and molds them with her big paws until she shapes them into proper-looking bear cubs. Through the peephole, I watched this shaping and heard Mama Bear grunt as she worked. Uncle described her grunting sounds as a secret bear chant.

“Why, Meeko, even male bears fear she will go on the warpath and kill them if they dare come too close during that time. That evening Uncle warned me never to go near the cave entrance again unless he was with me because Mama Bears are very dangerous after giving birth.

“About two weeks after I first saw the cubs, Uncle told me we must hurry to the bear cave because he had dreamed Mama Bear would take her cubs into second birthing. You see, a bear is born from the darkness of Mama Bear’s womb into the darkness of Mother Earth’s belly. When the cubs reach a certain age, Mama Bear takes them out of the cave to enter first light on Mother Earth and that is called second birthing.

“That day we rushed to the top of the cave, then Mama Bear stepped out, and moved quickly away from the cave entrance with her cubs staying close as shadows. I heard her growl as one wandered from her side. When she slapped it with a thunderous paw, the cub screamed as it went tumbling ass over tin cup. Boy, was I thankful I wasn’t one of her cubs. From then on, those cubs mimicked her every move.

“Uncle decided to hang around for a few more weeks so I could watch Mama Bear teaching the new cubs. One day we saw her leave the cave without them, and after rubbing ourselves with dark, rich soil to give off an earthy smell, we scooted down to the entrance and looked inside. I had to hold back my laughter as we watched the cubs gnaw on the branches and twigs of their bed, playing with their feet and practicing their bear growls. Then, knowing Mama Bear would soon return, we went back to camp.

“Oh, Grandson, what pleasant memories I have of that beautiful spring a